May 25, 2008

Sunday, May 25, 2008
Life Improvement Montage

I'm feeling hesitant about writing a blog today. I thought maybe waiting until next week or sometime in the near future might be better. Truth is I don't have much to talk about in the way of "accomplishments" right now, only a handful of "good intentions" I hope to set into action over this summer. After some contemplation, I decided that I might as well write it out… it might help me to stick with it to see it written in front of me and maybe you all can check up on me to make sure I'm following through.

Sitting with Carmel last week we were both simultaneously discussing the movie "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" and our summer plans. She loved the movie (I think she found the gratuitous penis shots a refreshing escape from the gratuitous boob shots you get in most movies of that genre). I thought it was OK- but not great, although I found some parts to be really funny, and somewhat relatable. In the movie there's a scene when Peter (main character guy) returns home after being in Hawaii and spends a montage's span of time (Months? Weeks? Years? Does not specify) working on his life. He finishes his "rock opera," he's noticeable better dressed/quaffed and the swankiness of his apartment improves over this time- all this ends with the successful opening night of his rock opera, and his love interest in eager attendance. Now, this is a movie- and in reality you can't count on love interest to be in attendance, but it's totally within your means to finish that rock opera, get spiffed, pimp your crib and move on with your life (hey, maybe Hawaii girl isn't meant for you after all).. After discussing this scene for some time, Carmel and I found a theme for our summer, "The Life Improvement Montage"- and so… .we begin..

School: Last Thursday I went down to PCC to meet with an advisor to design a schedule for getting into a nursing program. It's likely I will be able to get into one this winter (as long as I don't fuck it up again). I also might be taking a class this summer (as long as I can figure out how to get OHSU to pay for it) and this fall I am taking a full course schedule. No more breaks. No more life-stuff getting in the way. It needs to be my biggest priority until I've finished.

Going Green: So far, I'm doing pretty well being more environmentally-conscious. It's weird, I consider myself pretty concerned with world affairs overall. However, I have never given much of a poop for environmental concerns. I care, but no.. not really.. until now. What changed? I don't know. Maybe it was realizing that my health problems are most likely linked in some way to chemicals and pollutants in the environment and the foods I eat. Maybe it's just the right time for me to be willing to learn, put in the effort and get excited about making these changes. This week I'm getting a composting container to put out in my "garden" (really just a hunk of dirt as of right now… but give me a few weeks). I've been looking up what can/can't be composted and how to effectively get it to work. I'm pretty excited to have all that organic soil to use on gardening next year. I've also been really diligent about recycling and reusing bottles and containers for household items I can buy in bulk at the co-op. As happy I am with the changes being made, I'm also not being overly dogmatic about it and resisting my urges to entirely ditch all evidence of life before ("Ok, I'm going to finish up this gallon-refill-bottle of anti-bacterial Soft soap, but after its gone, it's Dr. Bronner's all the way!"). It's going to take time and education to keep moving with this, but I'm willing.

Food: My diet is changing. I have decided NOT to fast right now. With the stomach problems I've been having, the idea of putting belly under more stress just scares the hell out of me. I do plan to see a specialist, and maybe eventually a fast under medical supervision would be good for me, but it's just not right for me right now. What I am eating is all good stuff, whole cheeses, eggs, grains, milk, vegetables, and fruits and honestly these foods sit the best with me. I am staying away from processed foods or foods with additives and preservatives- no frozen stuff or canned blah. This does take more preparing and cooking meals, that's still a challenge for me, but it is something I am getting better at doing and I'm finding some awesome recipes to try. Again, this is going to be a process- and I'm going to stumble on foods that make my stomach feel cruddy and eat the occasional meal at work or at a place with no ideal options, but that's how it goes. This isn't a destination-it's a journey.. and that is SO cliché, but whatever!

Gardening: Yes, ever since I first set foot in my apartment I dreamed of putting a raised bed in the back of my apartment. That dream died little by little over time. First, thinking about the exhaust pollutants wafting off the busy Killingsworth speedway totally deterred me from planting anything remotely edible there. The weekly findings of empty "Wild Irish Rose" and "Colt 45" bottles assumedly thrown over the fence and into the vicinity of the lot also added to my hesitation. As did the kids cereal boxes, empty Doritos bags and lawn scraps that somehow escaped my neighbor's trash bag and ended up being swept into my dirt lot (it's not a trash lot people!!). Oh, and how about the night I came home to my neighbor pissing on his tomato plants?! God, was I relieved that I never accepted any of the tomatoes they offered me! And the question remains, is pissing on plants something he does? Should I post a no-pissing sign by my plants? Set some sort of alarm? Maybe he thinks that is an acceptable way to fertilize tomatoes, but it certainly is not! Anyway, I still hold on to scraps of the garden dream despite all this, and I think with the introduction of a composting system should come some plants and flowers to dress up the place a little. I've decided not to get a raised bed this year. I'm going to test my soil (for nitrogen, potassium, phosphorus….is there a urine-in-the-soil test??) and figure out how to treat it so it's healthy for the type of plants I want to grow. I'm only going to grow non-edible stuff, of course. This week is all about getting my hands dirty.

Apartment: This is a daunting task. It's too big, there are too many white walls and I need a million dollars to buy all the furniture and décor to make that place look nice. Next time, I'm getting a studio. Right now my only solid plan is to rearrange some furniture in the living room and definitely increase my collection of houseplants (can you call 1 ½ living plants a collection?). I need to make an Ikea stop, and I need to borrow a car or something and hit up some thrift stores. I really need a dresser in my room, a book case for the livingroom… and some storage baskets to put under the computer desk (soon to be where plants go). A huge mural for the living room would be cool, but not likely. Maybe I should gather a serious inventory of my stuff, and see if I can make any art projects out of shit I don't want. I don't know. I just want to LOVE my apartment and right now I don't. Maybe I need to hit up craigslist too. That could be a good idea.
So, now you can picture my "Life Improvement Montage" – The scenes change, the summer wears on, the plants spring up and the apartment looks more awesome in every frame. I'm cooking more, having little dinner parties, little by little my life becomes more environmentally healthy (biodegradable dish soap, recycled trash bags (and less trash thanks to composting!).. you get the idea). You notice the main character looks happier and healthier, as she surrounds herself with the things around her that make her happy and things she cares about. The montage continues way past summer and her life begins to reflect her ideals more and more.